Sophie, you clearly state your opinion in your opening paragraph BUT you must ensure that you maintain a formal tone; you cannot use idioms in academic essays. You should also avoid saying what you are going to do and just get on with doing it.
Try to also include marxist vocabulary throughout your response, use the hand out supplied in class to help you do this.
In paragraph 2 can you find evidence from the critical anthology to support your views? Try to also explore the techniques used by Larkin, look at Monica's essay to see how she analyses his use of caesura.
As your response progresses a clearer debate forms BUT what is lacking is a connection to the context of the society and author who created the texts. You do occasionaly lose control of tone and revert to using idioms, these will need removing from your work. You also need to write in the third person passive and avoid stating 'I think', you also shouldn't claim his poems are boring and drag on a bit! You can use a marxist critical lens but you cannot critique his work based on enjoyment. Have you considered that the dull nature of his work is an intentional authorial choice?
Sophie, you clearly state your opinion in your opening paragraph BUT you must ensure that you maintain a formal tone; you cannot use idioms in academic essays. You should also avoid saying what you are going to do and just get on with doing it.
ReplyDeleteTry to also include marxist vocabulary throughout your response, use the hand out supplied in class to help you do this.
In paragraph 2 can you find evidence from the critical anthology to support your views? Try to also explore the techniques used by Larkin, look at Monica's essay to see how she analyses his use of caesura.
As your response progresses a clearer debate forms BUT what is lacking is a connection to the context of the society and author who created the texts. You do occasionaly lose control of tone and revert to using idioms, these will need removing from your work. You also need to write in the third person passive and avoid stating 'I think', you also shouldn't claim his poems are boring and drag on a bit! You can use a marxist critical lens but you cannot critique his work based on enjoyment. Have you considered that the dull nature of his work is an intentional authorial choice?
TARGETS
Respond to my comments and make improvements
Incldue more contextual detail
Research Larkin's life